What is Furlough?

 

Furlough….. the word brings images and fond memories. But it is also bittersweet.

  Shortly before we left for furlough a new missionary asked me, What do you do on furlough? How do you do furlough? While we were on furlough people asked, So what do you want to do most while you are in the US? And as we left people asked, Did you get done what you wanted to do? These questions have been swirling in my brain. I don’t know if I have the answers but I will try.

   How do you do in one month what you have missed out on for a year and a half? How do you see everyone you want to? Have intentional conversations that catch you up on your family and friends lives? Hear their heart cries from the time you were apart and allow them to see yours? How do you refresh and truly reconnect?

  What we want most on furlough is to reconnect with people. We want those intimate conversations that only happen face to face. They can’t be planned or forced. But they happen. Often late at night. Sometimes around campfires or in living rooms. Sometimes in the middle of the day at a coffee shop, after church, in a quiet spot at a lady’s day. People give you a glimpse of their heart, their personal life, and it encourages you. Everyone is in their own personal battle with Satan and when we allow each other to hear our stories, our struggles, our victories; then we are encouraged and strengthened. We don’t just face battles on the mission field. Each and every one of us faces our own Goliath.

  We enjoy sitting with those that are our church authority. Hearing about our home church and sharing about our lives keeps us connected and grounded. Sitting with the people who care about us enough to ask hard questions about how we are doing, how our marriage is doing, how our children are doing; it’s a blessing each person should have in their life. We enjoy weekends with family, camping, at the cabin, or just together for Sunday lunch. One thing we have learned to do is find time with siblings one on one. It doesn’t happen with each of them every time but we try to do all that we can. Being in their home and seeing a tiny slice of their life gives us memories we treasure. Sitting up late at night talking about big things and little things help us know their struggles and help us work through ours.

  This furlough was so rich with those moments. There were so many moments that I treasure in my heart. When we left Ghana it had been 21 months since we had been in the US. We had just come through a very busy (but very fulfilling) season and we were tired. Physically, emotionally, maybe even spiritually tired. When you are so far away from your family and friends, it is easy to forget how much they really do care. When you are busy and they are busy, it is almost impossible to keep up on each other’s lives well. And sometimes we wonder if anyone remembers us. This is a bit dramatic, but when we are discouraged, even if you don’t live thousands of miles away, I think one of Satan’s tactics is to isolate us. No one knows what you are dealing with. No one cares about you. No one has time to talk. No one understands. In the past month, I have discovered what a lie that is. There are so many people that want to talk. Want you to hear their story. Want to hear your story. Want to care for you. And I am not talking about me personally. I am saying there are so many people that if you, any one of you, take a minute to truly care about their lives, they truly care about yours. That is what a good conversation is all about. Not one sided, not all about me, but about caring for them and being cared for in return. That is exactly what happened over and over again on our furlough and are the moments we treasure.